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The Greatest LESSON 

you can ever LEARN

We must be the change we wish to see in this world

Mahatma Ghandi

The Greatest Lesson you can ever Learn 

" The expense of spirit in a waste of shame is lust in action "

William Shakespeare

There is a story told about a man, would may or may not have lived in this world. It is a story so amazing and filled with such hope that even the imagination wills to take flight and desire for the glimmer of whether it be real or not,… But this truth I leave for you to judge, …

Richard J Sterling, was one of the wealthiest men in South Africa. He lived on an exclusive vineyard in Cape Town. Every morning he used to take his new Porche Carrera for a drive along the beachfront. Richard didn’t have many friends, the reason being that he was very choosy. He used to say, that he wasn’t a racist but a 'classist'. And as such Richard would only hang around with people of a certain ‘Level’.

Richard had the most interesting childhood, he was born in a rather poor area in Johannesburg. He went to the local school, and was often embarrassed by the holes in his school shoes. Unfortunately his divorced mother couldn’t afford to buy him new shoes. She actually could hardly afford to feed him, and many a night Richard went to bed hungry.

As Richard grew up, the pain of poverty would often bother him. He would constantly promise himself that when he grew up he would be rich. Never again would he tolerate poverty and lack. This made Richard driven. This made him intolerant of any weakness in himself. Richard would often scream at himself and would force himself to study for hours and hours every day. He never had time for fun,… the only important thing was to succeed at school, so that one day he could be rich. There was no other goal. Nothing else was important.

Richard worked really hard at school. He managed to finish top of his class at least 3 times in his senior school years. He completed his final year of school as one of the top students in the country. Naturally Richard, earned his bursary and the opportunity to study towards becoming an investment banker.

At university Richard was constantly networking with the other students. He would also pursue rich people, trying to interest them in some or other investment scheme. Sometimes his schemes didn’t work, but overall, with Richards hard work, he managed to accumulate a couple of hundred thousand dollars, by the time he graduated.

Richard further pursued his relentless career by joining a notable financial institution. While working there he completed his Certified Financial Analysts Diploma and his MBA. At 30 Richard was really going somewhere.

Richard celebrated his 31^st birthday in a very special way.  He went on a round the world cruise on a luxury liner; the occasion was, his first $ 1 million. Richard then decided to set his goals higher. Even though he was now rich, he still felt insecure. He still felt that somehow he didn’t have enough. He felt an overwhelming compulsion to have more, he felt an uncontrollable lust for money.

So, Richard decided that investment banking actually wasn’t the thing for him. With his ‘superior’ business insight he could easily outdo his puny investment banking commissions. Richard got into the high tech scene. He went into the manufacture of sophisticated computer networking gear.

 In fact he had such a good development team that within 5 years he had dominated the worldwide market in his area of specialization. Naturally this wasn’t done by genius alone, he had a helping hand from his rich investors and quite a good ‘method’ of eliminating the competition. Richard was ruthless,…

Time continued and Richard dramatically expanded his wealth. At 40 he was one of the wealthiest man in South Africa and decided to retire to Cape Town. He bought himself a luxury vineyard near Stellenbosch and started to contemplate the meaning of his life.

But Richard realized one important thing. For all of his wealth, he simply wasn’t happy. He had no family (His wife had divorced him, she just couldn’t take his never-ending lust for wealth), he had never been able to stay in a relationship since. He also found that his health was failing, the doctors told him that all the rich food and free sex were seriously affecting him. The stress of his many many business endeavors had taken a further toll on his health and he was at risk of a heart attack,…

Night after night Richard pondered on the question, over and over again it he asked,’ Why aren’t I happy ? ‘ But still no answer came… Richard managed to stay retired for a whole 2 years before his lust for money consumed him again.

So, he decided that he needs to solve his problem, in the same way always had,… make some more money. But, fortunately for Richard, his prayers were not unanswered. One day he spoke to someone. Someone extraordinary. A great sage and a master of true-life and true happiness,... But the sage was not what you would expect. The sage came in the form of his younger sister Cindy.

Now Cindy was a little different to Richard. She had also grown up in the same terrible poverty, but she decided to deal with it in a different way. Cindy decided to find out why, her mother had ended up in such a desperate situation, and to then see what she could do differently. Cindy was actually a mediocre student, and by our modern standards a mediocre achiever, except for one profound thing, which made her one of the greatest people of her day.

Cindy had discovered the secret to true and enduring happiness,… Now Richard knew this. He had always secretly admired Cindy’s seemingly infinite Joy and overwhelming zest for life. Cindy would just exude passion and everything she touched seemed to shine. Cindy truly was a wonder.

One day after a really tough week, (He only made $ 5 million), Richard was feeling really down and insecure. He felt that he was loosing his edge and his continuing health problems weren’t helping matters either. Richard felt really desperate so he called his sister in Johannesburg and asked her to come and spend a week at his place. He really needed a different perspective on things. Richard paid for Cindy’s air ticket and flew her down to Stellenbosch.

When Cindy arrived she took one look at Richard and instantly felt sorry for him. He just wasn’t right and she knew it. That night Cindy and Richard stayed up and chatted until dawn. Richard remembered how, when the two of them were growing up, they used to just sit and chat; how carefree the world was in those days. He had forgotten how valuable the smaller things in life truly are,…

But more importantly Richard learnt something deeply profound from Cindy. Richard had asked her, how she managed to be so happy, she wasn’t very rich, though she did have a good job and a stable career. She had a fantastic husband and two kids. And everyone who knew her, loved her. ‘How did she do it ?‘

And the answer will amaze you with its simplicity and power as it amazed Richard,… the answer was something Cindy had learnt from one of her school teachers. Mr. Thomas James. Thomas James was a simple man who strived to teach his kids the master keys to success. Born into a prominent family, he had decided to pursue a teaching career to impart some of the wisdom of success, into the lives of underprivileged children. He didn’t believe that anyone was inferior rather that all people could be great. And what Thomas taught Cindy was this,… ‘ Love is your POWER ‘.

Cindy repeated the words to Richard, ‘ Love is your POWER ! ‘. Richard actually didn’t get it. He said, ‘ What do you mean that Love is my power. I have power, I am the chairman of one of the most prominent companies in the world. Over 20 000 people depend on me for their bread and butter every day. What do you mean Love is power,… my money brings me power,… ‘ And as Richard was speaking he suddenly stopped in mid sentence as he realized,…

All of his life he had believed that he needed to force himself to do things. He would use fear and lust to get himself to do things. He would say, 'You can only have that chocolate when you have gotten a Distinction for your test,...' 

He had believed that when he has this ‘success’ he would be happy; when in fact the true key to his happiness, lay not in what he had, but in the state of his mind.

Cindy said to Richard, ‘The key to happiness is to let LOVE motivate you’. Richard went silent for a moment as he pondered this thought. He thought, ‘Let LOVE motivate me, what do you mean let LOVE motivate me ?’ Richard kept pondering on this thought over and over again he pondered until at last in frustration he asked Cindy, ‘How do I let LOVE motivate me ?‘

Cindy thought for a moment before she answered with Mr. Thomas James’s favorite quote. The one he used to repeat, over and over again, ‘ There are three types of people in this world. The first two may appear happy, but can never be. The Third are always happy even if though things may not be perfect.’  Richard interrupted, ‘And these people are … ‘. Cindy feeling a little rushed continued, ‘ The first person is someone who is motivated by Fear. They do everything because they are afraid of what would happen if they don’t do it.

The second type of person is motivated by Lust, they do everything out of greed, or self-interest. They feel that, they will never have enough,… they are always dissatisfied.

But the third type people are the Greatest in the world. They are the ones we teach our kids about and they are the history makers, people such as Jesus &  Ghandi. They are the true world changers. These people are motivated by LOVE, by genuine care and sensible compassion. They are the truly wise and the truly GREAT‘

As Richard heard this, his mind started to spin. He asked Cindy for a little space and went for a walk on the beach. About an hour later,… Richard came back never to be the same again...

In the passing years, Richard truly became great. He used his wealth to teach people how to LOVE. And because of his influence they listened. In fact he taught his entire nation how to LOVE and filled the world with the greatest beauty of peace and harmony. Richard created a world we all want to belong to.

One day about 20 years later a little boy named Tim and his mother, were walking through the largest city in the land. While little Tim was running around he saw a stature of a man. He ran up to an elderly lady who was admiring the statue. He tugged on her coat as he asked her, ‘Who’s this ?‘ She replied, ‘That was Richard J. Sterling‘. He asked, ‘ Why is he 

here ? ’With a tear in her eye she replied, ‘Because he learnt how to LOVE,…‘

The woman’s name was Cindy,… The sister of the late and Greatest Richard J. Sterling. That day as she beheld the stature of her recently departed brother, she realized that she had taught Richard the greatest lesson ever known. And as she thought about this, she quietly whispered it to herself,   

‘ LOVE ‘

The Master KEY

The Greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to Love and be Loved in return

       Moulin Rouge

How true it is that the greatest thing we can ever do is to Love. Yet if we honestly look at our lives, can we truly say that this is what motivates us ? It is very interesting for us to notice that very often our theories and our actions don’t tie up. So often we believe the right things, but don’t do them.

So what is the Master KEY to this greatness ? What is the way that anyone can follow to the highest or most Noble Path ?

Surprisingly the answer is actually very simple. In fact it is so simple that even when we hear it, we struggle to believe that the great key to all the riches of life could be so simple.

In our story Richard, was the epitome of all of our societies ideals, rich, famous, influential and he owned a Porsche. But we also see that ultimately it wasn’t his wealth that brought him greatness and true-happiness.

If we take a little time to discover what it is that drives us, we will often find that the majority of us are either driven by Fear or Lust. 

Fear is when we are forced to do something, because we are afraid of what will happen if we don’t do it. This fear can come from an outside source such as an employer or it could come from ourselves.

Many times we use fear instead of Wisdom to protect us

Destin 

 … And in doing this we sacrifice the freedom and naturalness of life and end-up in an emotional prison. 

Fear robs us of our ability to live and be and be free

Destin 

At other times we are motivated by lust. We feel that we just have to do it. Another way of describing lust is to say, that it is the feeling of wanting more of something, even though logically we actually have enough. So we eat a whole chocolate cake, even though a single slice, would more than satisfy our little craving for sweet things.

The biggest problem with lust is just that, lust never ever has a point where there is enough. It always wants more and is never satisfied. Lust can be a little tricky, because… 

The thing we lust after, is often not the actual thing 

we have a unsatisfiable craving for

Destin 

So in Richard’s case his craving was for ‘Self Worth’. He believed he would only be worth something if he was loaded with money. But even when he had the money, he still never felt satisfied,... because he was using the wrong 'thing' to meet his need.

To use a silly example, trying to feel ‘Self Worth’ with money, is like trying put out a fire with carrots. It just makes no sense. What Richard discovered was that his sense of ‘Self Worth’ ultimately came from what he thought about himself. If he thought that he was valuable then,… he was, if he thought he wasn’t valuable,… then he wasn’t. He had the power to decide and when he learnt how to Love himself,…He discovered that Loving yourself means thinking highly of yourself.

It means considering yourself to be valuable and precious, it means caring about and cherishing the amazing you. Yes you, you are amazing,… and as you ponder this thought for a moment,… Remember, that one can Love themselves and still be humble.

Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself; it is realizing that all people, including you are like precious diamonds. 

Amazingly rare and truly valuable,…

Destin

… But even though we are all uniquely valuable, we are valued at the same price. 

Destin

Let’s think about how we too can learn to Love. And more importantly how we can Love ourselves as a first step. 

Destin

… And that love can’t be earned. We need to think about ourselves as a great parent protecting, nurturing and developing their child. Many of us never had perfect parents, but that doesn’t stop us from learning how to be perfect parents to ourselves. 

Destin

If we really think about just what it is that makes Love, 'Love'. We will realize that we feel most Loved when we are being Supported in our endeavors, Nurtured and corrected in our life's path and Provided for when we have a sincere need. We will often find that, at the times we felt most unloved, we felt a lack of one of these three things. We felt that our parents, or spouses or friends, or boss didn't support us, or believe in us, or nurture us, or provide for us. We therefore felt unloved.

But herein lies a great secret. Because if we know what we need to feel, in order to feel truly loved, then we can start by supporting, nurturing and providing for ourselves. And as we do, we will feel Loved by ourselves. And as we truly feel loved by ourselves, we will feel empowered to love others. And as we love others, they will in turn love us.

So what we would do is to practice supporting ourselves and believing in ourselves. To be the first one to 'cheer us' on. To motivate and inspire ourselves and to believe that we have something greater within us. 

We can be the first person to Nurture ourselves. To dress our wounds. To provide a gentle word of comfort if things go wrong. We can advice ourselves, and help ourselves to grow our weaknesses, into strengths.

We can provide for ourselves. We can learn how to make a fine income, we can educate ourselves, we can become wiser, learn to get along with our brothers and learn how to improve and develop to a higher level of excellence.

All of these actions summarize Self-Love. And when we practice them, we will truly feel loved by ourselves.

And as we master them within ourselves, we will be able to master them with others. We will truly understand how to Support, Nurture and Provide for our families, our friends and the greater world out there. And our love will beget more love than we have ever imagined possible, because ...

We can take the 'Love' step a little further, by replacing all of our fears and lusts with love. This way we do things because we feel love or care and NOT because we are afraid, or have a compulsion to get something. Love then becomes our key motivation.

Here's an example of how we could do this:

Let’s say that we need to motivate ourselves to complete an important project at work.  We could say something like this to ourselves,…

‘ Destin, I really really care about you. Do you know this ? Yes. Destin as you know success comes from long-term effort and diligence. So it’s important for you to finish this project. That way you will be promoted and prosper in everything. Also remember that you promised the client the project on Wednesday, and you are a man of your word. Destin let’s get this thing done together,… it might not be easy, but it’s worth it ! ‘

The basic idea is to get ourselves to do things by motivation and inspiration, by using passion (I love to do this!), and not Fear/Lust (I have to do this), to move ourselves to action. 

When we inspire ourselves in this way,  we end up doing things because we want to, and not because we have to. We therefore enjoy what we are doing more, and become more effective at it. 

The basic steps to motivating ourselves in this way are:

1. We explain to ourselves why this project is important and what the benefits of completing this project will be. (We might also need to explain to ourselves the possible consequences of not completing the project, but always in a gentle and loving way. In a way that causes understanding and not fear).

2. We work together with ourselves in completing the project i.e. We Support, Nurture and Provide for ourselves, while we complete the project.

3. We express Love to ourselves in our Love language.

We’ve all heard of stories, where people have given up their lives to save someone they Loved; we have all made sacrifices, for people we care about. Love conquers all vice and all selfishness,… 

In conclusion let's explore the emotional power of Love.

…And herein lies the power of Love. If Love is the emotion we feel when we are doing something, then the result will always be perfect. The method we use for changing our present emotions to love, is simple: Stop and Replace,… 

So what we do is we first start with the small things. We ask our ‘Me’ to give us a signal every time we feel a certain emotion, say anger. Maybe ‘Me’ can say ‘STOP!’. We then ask ‘Me’ to replace that feeling of anger with,… Love, Calm and Sound Judgment. So we will Feel Caring, Level Headedness and have a Clear Mind for making the right decision and doing the right thing.

The feeling of love will replace, anger or jealousy or lust or fear or whatever feeling there may be, with warm, caring, kind, supporting, nurturing and providing feelings. 

And as we do this, we will automatically find that other people will tend to respond to us in a different way. Even rough and uncaring people will find these types of feelings, and the actions they cause, hard to resist. 

So as you ponder and wonder about all of these things, and think about what one significant thing, you can learn from all of this, you can remember the great secret, of the Greatest of the Great, and begin to live in the now and the ‘morrow the feeling of,… 

 Key Principles

• Be motivated by LOVE not Fear or Lust

• The feeling of LOVE is a feeling of care

• The actions of LOVE are Supporting, Nurturing and Providing

• Replace all negative emotions with LOVE

• LOVE begets LOVE (Latin Proverb)

In Everything Truth, Faith & Love

Further Info:

See our Articles:

• The Day you Changed

• Freedom in your Soul

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