Freedom
in your Soul by Destin
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is
the little-death that brings total obliteration. I
will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me
and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn
the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone
there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Frank
Herbert, Dune, "Litany Against Fear", 1965
Joe
was a brilliant Electrical Engineer. Smart and
capable, many people wished they could be like him. At
age 22 he already held a senior position at his firm.
He drove the car that his friends envied, earned a
salary that was exceptional for his age and had an
exciting career ahead of him.
Joes’s
employer always used to say, ‘ Joe will run this
company one day ‘. A few years later a friend of
mine, Craig, ran into Joe's employer. He asked the
employer, ‘ How’s Joe doing, is he running the
company yet ? ‘ The employer bowed his head in
silence as he told the saddest story imaginable,…
You see Joe
had actually been asked to resign 6 months earlier.
Apparently his work just wasn’t shaping. The
employer continued … Joe was doing really well in
the company. He had received his first promotion after
only 6 months in the company. He was one of those
people with Dreams in their eyes. He used to amaze the
customers with his thoroughness and attention to
detail. Everybody loved him.
Joe had just
one weakness. He had a friend named Dean, who he used
to hang around with at the office. Dean was a senior
engineer at the firm. Being much older and apparently
wiser than him, Joe took Dean on as a mentor. Now Dean
was one of those super bright genius types. And that
was where the problem began.
Dean was a
bit of a drop-out as far as life goes. He used to be a
hotshot advertising exec in his youth until he got
fed-up with the whole industry and quit. He then went
back to college to do his Masters Degree. Being so
smart and much older than everyone else, he graduated
top of his class. In actual fact Dean broke the record
for the top marks ever awarded in that course.
Now Dean had
this terrible habit of always looking for fault in
things. He would look at a
situation and before he did anything, he would first
ask what was wrong with it. Joe being young and
impressionable had developed a strong admiration for
Dean. He wished he could be as smart as him. He loved
to listen to Dean’s stories of the good old
advertising days.
Eventually
Joe began to confide in Dean. He told him about his
imperfect family life. About how he wanted to leave
home, but the fancy car was too expensive so he
couldn’t afford to. He told him how lonely he used
to feel and how he so wished for a girlfriend. Dean
always used to give such seemingly amazing advice. But
somehow even though the advice seemed good, it only
made the problems worse. But, Joe didn’t realize
this at the time.
Eventually
Joe told Dean about his Dreams and Aspirations. About
how he was planning to run the company one day. About
how he was going to be a millionaire at age 30 and
about how he would put the company on the
international map.
Dean told him that he mustn’t be
so optimistic. He told him that he could never predict
what could happen in life. He must not be so sure. He
told him that too much optimism is a bad thing.
Joe tried to convince Dean that things were not really
that bad, but Dean being older and more experienced
outwitted him.
Slowly and
gradually Joe began to feel a new and terrible feeling
inside himself. It was a feeling of the most horrible
kind. A feeling that imprisons the soul and has
invisible walls that cannot be touched. This feeling
was Fear. Joe sensed what was happening, but the
stronger the feeling became, the more afraid he felt
and this only made him even more afraid. Until
eventually Joe became so imprisoned, so bound that he
couldn’t even talk to his boss without choking up.
There was a
time when he met a really nice girl and as he went up
to her, his head began to spin uncontrollably and his
breathing became hard and stiff and he completely lost
his reason and couldn’t even say hello. Joe, became
wretched and depressed and eventually almost suicidal.
It was around this time that Joe’s employer let him
go.
Joe continued
his downward spiral until the only thing that could
save him was an act of grace from God himself. And
fortunately for Joe, grace was found in the form of a
simple woman called Carol.
Carol saw him
in his wretched state and at once loved him. This felt
strange for Joe in his black hole. Carol, truly loved
Joe, and not to get anything. She simply felt deep
care and true concern for him. Now you see Carol was a
very successful executive. At only 25 she already had
her own marketing firm and was heading for her first
million at 28. Carol symbolized the type of success
that Joe was interested in.
Not that
Carol’s life was perfect or anything. She had
recently been divorced and had a son from her first
marriage, where her husband used to beat her up. But
Carol had learnt the one key principle the one answer
to the great question. The cure for Joe's disease of
fear,… And this is what she taught him,…
It was one of
those dark and thunderous nights you always see in the
movies. Joe and Carol
were at a restaurant. Naturally Carol was paying
because Joe was too broke to afford anything.
Carol looked
at Joe into the depths of his soul and said, ‘ You
need to face your Fear ! ‘. Joe said, ‘ You must
be crazy ‘. Carol repeated, ‘ You must face your
fear. I was once almost the same as you and today
I’m successful in almost every area of my life. You
must Face your fear. ‘
That night Joe went home with
a deep thought that changed him forever,…
The whole
night he tossed and turned. He couldn’t sleep. His mind kept wondering about those words,.. ’
You must face your Fear ’. When he finally did
manage to fall asleep, he had the strangest Dream, about
being in an imaginary world, where all of his fears
lived. But when he confronted them, they just
vanished. The next morning when Joe woke up he was
puzzled by the Dream.
He spent the
whole day trying to figure it out, until he realized
that the fears were actually an illusion. The fears
only had power as long as he believed they were real.
If he didn’t believe them, they would just vanish
into the mist they were. From that moment Joe made the
most incredible decision. Never again would he let
fears stop him from living his Dreams.
He got up and
faced his fears, every one of them. This wasn’t
always easy but every time he won a victory, he felt
his inner peace and personal power increase. He faced
all of his fears, one at a time starting with the
smallest and ending with the greatest,…
A few years
later I met Joe. He had finally made his dream of
owning his own company come true. He took me to lunch
with his wife, whom he had recently married. I
remember admiring his luxury car as he drove us over
to the country club. Over lunch I saw a model of
success in every area, happy newly weds, financial
prosperity, generous to the needy and a man living his
dreams. So I just had to ask the question, ‘ When I
last saw you, you were broke and down and out. How did
you change your life so dramatically ‘ Joe smiled
and answered,…
‘
I FACED my fears’
(The
Story above is a composite based on actual case
studies. Names have been changed to protect privacy)
The
Master Key
Fear could well be the most deadly of all the diseases of
the Soul. Although fear doesn’t necessarily
kill you physically , it can so imprison you emotionally, that you
cannot ‘live and be’ in your own body. Experience has
shown, that as much as 90% of emotional problems, have
fear at their root.
Have you ever thought about it,…
if almost all of your emotional issues have
fear at their root, what would happen if
you could completely eliminate fear from your life ?
Destin
Wow,…now that’s what I call a thought. The good
news is, that even though it may seem hard to believe, it is
actually quite possible to do this. The trick is to
understand how and why fear works.
To begin with, let's explore the two different types of
fear that exist:
- Rational
Fear
- Irrational
Fear
Rational Fear is when there is a genuine reason
to be afraid. The basic idea goes that if there is a
threat to your:
- Emotional
Safety (i.e. Your feelings could get hurt)
- Physical
Safety (i.e. You could be physically injured)
- Financial
Safety (i.e. You could loose your money, or
possessions)
- Reputation
Safety (i.e. People who are important to you could
think less of you)
You would
tend to feel Rational Fear. Now the purpose of
Rational Fear is to protect you from genuine danger. So Rational Fear
isn’t always such a bad thing. The secret to
mastering Rational Fear is to take sensible
precautions while focusing on a positive outcome.
The real
killer of life, joy and soul is Irrational Fear. What
happens with Irrational Fear, is that a person feels
afraid, but there is no actual danger. They might feel
that their reputation could be harmed, but it actually
won’t be. Or they may feel that there isn’t enough
money, but there actually is etc…
Someone
feeling Irrational Fear would be afraid, even though
there is no logical reason to be afraid; there isn’t
any actual danger. Often a person experiencing
Irrational Fear, will realize that there is no danger,
yet they’ll still feel afraid.
Because of
this, Irrational Fear can make people act in the
strangest ways,… A person would remove themselves
from a perfectly good relationship or not pursue a
business or job opportunity. And worst of all a person
would not take the risks, required to achieve their own
success.
They just
wouldn’t do the things, that they know they ought to
do, for them to succeed. They therefore would remain
bound and mediocre. They never experience the thrill,
and the wonder, of life to it’s fullest. Irrational
Fear is truly the greatest thief there could ever be;
it steals the passion, vitality and 'life' out of life.
Fortunately there is a simple and highly effective
remedy to this problem and Joe taught it to us ,…
‘Face these Irrational Fears’. If we can sense in
our minds that the situation isn’t really dangerous,
but we still feel unsafe, then we can know that the
fear is Irrational and just an illusion.
We can then attack that fear with all of our strength
and put all of our power into facing it. Because deep
down we can know that we are actually safe. And as we
face this fear, we will realize in our deepest hearts
and minds that the fear is just an illusion. We will
experience how it is like a mirage or a virtual world,
where everything is like a dream, that you wake up from
in the morning, and say to yourself, ‘Oh,.. It was
just my imagination’.
And you will
feel the greatest freedom, you have ever Dreamed of.
You will feel inner serenity and know the Destiny
ahead. You will be free to ‘live and be’ and to 'love and play' and live the Dream within. You will be
free as the swallow and you will soar as the Eagle to
heights, higher than imagination. And Life will be
ALIVE !
And you will discover as Joe did that the key to
Inner Serenity and feelings that do not bond.
‘FACE the Fear’ and watch it vanish,…
Key
Principles
Master
Exercise
This exercise
will help you to significantly reduce any fear you may
be having. Make a list of your 3 greatest fears and
your 3 smallest. For each one of these ask the
following questions:
- What
is so dangerous about this ?
-
What
evidence do I have to prove that this absolutely
will happen ?
-
What
evidence do I have to prove that this might not
happen ?
-
What
message is this fear trying to give me ?
-
What
do I need to do about this ?
-
What
can I learn from this situation, anyway ?
- Who
can I ask, or where can I read some info to
improve my knowledge in this area ?
- How
and when am I going to face this fear ?
While
you consider doing this exercise
you might want to ask yourself:
'
Is my happiness worth the 15 min this exercise will
take ? '
Now look at each one of these fears and ask yourself:
- Is it rational or irrational ?
For the rational ones,
take the sensible precautions and expect success. For the irrational
ones, face them as you watch them disappear.
One final
note. There is another kind of irrational fear which
we often don’t notice. These are the hidden fears.
What we will typically experience is a hesitation in a
particular area of our life. Unless we pay specific
attention to these hesitations, we often won't even notice
the
secret fears behind them.
These fears are normally the root
fears that prevent us from living our Dreams. We will
find that when we face them we will experience the most deep and profound changes.
Repeat the
exercise above for three things that you feel hesitant
to do.
This
could well be one of the most powerful
transformational
experiences of your life !
Destin
Do this
exercise and watch a life so much greater than you
ever Dreamed,… unfold before you. I know Joe did,…
In
Everything Truth, Faith & Love
Destin
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