The
Day you Changed by Destin
We
spend our entire lives looking for
Love from others,
When
in fact the love we seek is the Love
from ourselves
Destin
It
was a Saturday night. Mark was
sitting at the table with his
friends. To the left of him Joan and
her boyfriend Paul were smiling and
having a really good time. Opposite
Joan was sitting Casey. Casey had a
smile on her face as she cracked a
joke. Everyone began to laugh. Casey
seemed so relaxed and so comfortable
with herself, Mark quietly asked
himself, ‘ What has happened to
Casey, she seems so free, so happy,
it’s as if she’s a new person ?
‘
Suddenly
it dawned on Mark that here with him
were three changed lives. He was
stunned for a moment as he realized that he had witnessed the most
dramatic changes imaginable. He
could remember how just a few weeks
earlier Paul & Joan had broken
up. And here they were together and
smiling, enjoying each other. ‘
What changed ? ‘, he thought.
He
remembered how self-conscious and
nervous Casey used to be. How she
was so obsessed with getting
attention and love. And how she had
so completely transformed. It was
amazing to behold the remarkable
changes as he thought, ‘ Just what
was it that Casey did ? ’
As
he pondered this thought, his mind
began to drift as he remembered a
story Casey had told him ,… just a
month earlier she had gone out to
dinner with a friend to discuss her
feelings of inadequacy. You see
Casey was overweight and felt very
self-conscious. She felt very
unloved and very undesirable. Over
dinner her friend spent quite a bit
of time trying to understand where
her feelings were coming from.
That
night over dinner he taught her the
most profound lesson imaginable.
Over the years this very same
lesson, this key principle had
changed so many lives. He had
seldom seen anything that
worked so quickly and so deeply.
You
see Casey had a problem with loving
herself. She believed she was ugly
and that no one could ever love her.
Yet in her heart of hearts she
longed for true care and affection.
Casey’s friend looked deep into
her eyes and said, ‘ That love
you’re looking for deep down in
your heart, is love from you … ‘
At
first Casey felt shocked, the
friends words seemed to go down so
deep, they seemed to feel so true.
Casey asked him, ‘Please tell
me,… how do I love myself ? ‘ He
paused for a moment as he said, ‘
Say this to yourself. I LOVE me ‘
Casey looked at him, feeling a
little confused. But she thought to
herself, ‘Ok, I may as well try
it. I’ve tried everything else.
I’m tired of my life the way it
is, I want it to change. I’ve got
nothing to loose anyway … ‘ So
she said, ‘ I LOVE me. ‘ And as
she did, she felt an amazing warm
bubbly feeling inside.
Her
friend then said, ‘ Now say, Me
LOVES Casey … ‘ Still confused
but quietly excited Casey said, ‘
Me LOVES Casey ’. At once
Casey’s whole face changed as she realized
the most profound truth …
Over
the next few weeks the friend
watched Casey change. She became
calmer, more relaxed, more
emotionally balanced. She smiled
more and became a better person. Her
voice tone became lower and calmer
and even the physical appearance of
her face transformed,…
(The
Story above is a composite based on
actual case studies. Names have been
changed to protect privacy)
The Master
KEY
Many
of us believe that we need to
deserve Love. This normally comes
from our childhoods. When we were
‘kids’, our parents/guardians
often gave us more attention, and
treated us better when we were
‘good’. As we all knew, being
‘good’ meant doing what they
told us to do. Even though in most
cases our parents/guardians truly
and deeply loved us, we often felt
that they didn’t actually care for
us ‘just the way we are’. We
felt that we had to do something to
please them first. In other words we
needed to deserve their love.
Casey
believed that the way she should
treat herself is the way her mother
treated her. Her parents are
divorced and her father didn’t
really care for her. This made her
think that she is somehow
undeserving of love. Even though our
lives may be somewhat different, it
is amazing how many of us still feel
something similar.
The
truth is that Love actually can’t
be deserved. It is just given.
Otherwise how can it be Love.
Imagine I told you that I will only
love you if you do everything I
say,… or if you give me money or a
hug etc… would you call that true
love. Of course not.
As
God is Love, so is Man.
Therefore Man needs to Love,
Because
that is the true essence of his
Nature & Being
Destin
Now
remember that at the very inner core
of our nature is a desire to Love
and be Loved. It is the very nature
God put in us when he Created us.
Love is the greatest and truest of
all Divine qualities and mans’
greatest source of power ! Let me
repeat that, ‘Love is man’s
greatest source of power’
Have
you ever thought about what that
means ? Love gives you the power to
conquer all things. To conquer fear,
to be fulfilled in every
relationship, to keep on through any
trial. Think about it again ...
‘LOVE
is your POWER !’
And
as you ponder that thought, you can
remember that we tend to treat
others the way we treat ourselves.
This is because ‘the way we treat
ourselves’ is what we
unconsciously think of as
‘normal’. So if we are harsh to
ourselves we will tend to be harsh
to others. If we are kind to
ourselves we will tend to be kind to
others.
The trick is to therefore …
Do
unto yourself, as you would have
others do unto you
Destin
Now
the final principle is what is
called Mental Gender. We are going to
use this principle to explore an amazing technique
for creating self fulfillment. You
will never be the same,…
The
principle of Mental Gender states that
we have two major parts in our mind.
The conscious mind (masculine) and
the unconscious or subconscious
(feminine) mind.
When
studying Mental Gender we note the
difference between men and woman.
On the whole men tend to be
naturally more assertive
and woman more passive. Men tend to be better
equipped for provision and Woman for
nurturing.
It
therefore makes more sense for us to
pool our strengths, as men and woman,
and to mutually respect and love
each other. We need to remember that
men and woman are uniquely, and
magnificently, different and that all
people deserve love and
respect.
Now
the conscious mind is what they call
the ‘I’. It is the part of us
that makes decisions and is where we
have our ‘will’. It is often
called the ‘male-part’ of our
minds. You can find it easily if you
say to yourself, ‘ I am your
Name ‘ i.e., If your name is Peter,
say ‘I am Peter’. If your name
is Sue, say ‘I am Sue’. You will
feel a part of you respond.
Now
your unconscious is the part of you
called your ‘Me’. It is the part
of you that carries out your habits
and key bodily functions such as
heart beat, breathing etc… The
unconscious is often called the
‘female-part’ of your mind, and
in many ways it is very feminine in
it’s nature.
Where the conscious
tends to be very assertive in it’s
approach by making decisions,
directing it’s will and setting
it’s goals, the unconscious tends
to be more passive, coming up with
ways to realize the conscious minds
objectives. That is also why the
unconscious needs to be loved,
cherished and respected. It gives
100% unselfishly of itself.
The
way you find your unconscious is to
say to yourself, ‘Me’. Just the
word ‘Me’ as you feel the part
of you that responds. As you do
this, you will feel that your
‘Me’ is a different part of you
to your ‘I’.
So
for a quick recap: say ‘ I am your
Name ‘ to find your ‘I’
(conscious) and ‘Me’ to find your ‘Me’
(unconscious).
And
now you are going to discover the
most wonderful technique you have
ever imagined. As you read this, you
will change. Probably from the very
moment you try it out, you will
never ever be the same,.. Are you
curious about what it is ?
Well
imagine the perfect marriage. In the
perfect marriage both partners give
all of themselves to the other
partner. Both partners trust
completely and are completely
trustworthy. Both partners love the
other more than themselves and put
the other above themselves,… Now
think of this,… in your mind you
have a metaphor for the perfect
marriage. ‘I’ (conscious -
masculine) loving
‘Me’ (unconscious - feminine). ‘I’
(conscious) having
the perfect relationship with
‘Me’ (unconscious) and ‘Me’
(unconscious) having the
perfect relationship with ‘I’ (conscious).
Wow so let’s think about this…
If
‘I’ (conscious) and ‘Me’ (unconscious)
have the
perfect relationship with each
other, than you will have the
perfect relationship with yourself.
Further, if you have the perfect
relationship with yourself, you will
tend to treat other people in the
perfect way. And if you treat other
people in the perfect way, they will tend to
treat you differently.
Therefore your life and your
relationships will improve ! Wow, ponder on that thought
for just a moment or three,…
So
how do you do this,… Well for all
of the explanation, the idea is
actually really basic. All you do is
get your ‘I’ (conscious) to show love to
your ‘Me’ (unconscious) and the other way
around. And that is what the friend
taught Casey.
So
what you do is:
Step
1:
-
Think
of your 'I'. Even say 'I'.
-
Think
of your 'Me'. Even say 'Me'
-
Note
the difference between your 'I'
and your 'Me'
Step
2:
And
as you do, you can imagine that you
are, the 'I' part of you. You can
imagine what you would see, hear and
feel if you were 'I'. Really see the
world through the eyes, of 'I' and
feel what 'I' feels inside.
And
while you are imagining that you are
'I', take a look at that part of you
called 'Me'. Even imagine seeing
your 'Me' part in front of you, as
you imagine what that part of you
looks like. What color hair does
your 'Me' have. What color are your
' Me's 'eyes?
And
while you look at 'Me' you may
notice, a feeling of love inside
you. Deep and strong love. True and
pure love inside you.
Love
which you feel for 'Me', as you
imagine loving 'Me', and giving 'Me'
care and affection. Saying, ' I,
love 'Me' ‘, and feeling what happens
inside you as you do.
And
while you are imagining that you are
'Me', you can take a look at that
part of you called 'I'. Seeing that
part of you in front of you. Even
imagining what that part of you
looks like. What color hair does
your 'I' have. What color are your '
I's 'eyes?
And
while you look at that 'I' part of
you, you can feel the love that 'I'
is giving you. You may even feel how
nice it is to respond to ' I's '
care and affection, while you find
yourself responding to 'I',
returning the love, that 'I' is
giving to you, (giving to 'Me'), and
saying to 'I', ‘
'Me', love's 'I' ‘ or even putting your name
there, saying ‘ 'Me', love's your
name. (i.e. 'Me', love's
Peter, or Me,
loves Sue).
And
noticing how 'I' responds as you say
it again. Noticing how wonderful it
is to see 'I' feeling loved.
-
Now
you can imagine that you are an
observer, watching 'I' showing
love to 'Me', and 'Me' showing
love to 'I'. Noticing how natural
it looks. Noticing how much 'I'
enjoys loving, and being loved, by
'Me', and how much 'Me' enjoys
loving, and being loved, by 'I'.
Noticing how happy 'I' and 'Me'
now are.
And
noticing how happy you are, as you
realize how natural it is to love
yourself, as you imagine being you
again. Being 'I' and being 'Me',
living together in perfect love, and
perfect harmony, inside your
body.
As
you notice how wonderful it feels to
love yourself, and even wondering
how much more wonderful, it will
feel as you continue to love you, in
the days and weeks, and months and
years of bliss and self-fulfillment,
ahead and saying to yourself, 'WOW!
this is really good! I never
realized, how normal and natural it
is, to love myself. I never
realized, how easy it is.' as you
realize the joy within and smile
from delight..
As you do this you will begin to
feel a new spark inside. A new
wonder in your relationship with you.
You will somehow start to feel more
appreciated and more deeply loved. You
will start to feel more comfortable
with yourself and realize how
infinitely valuable and deeply
important you really are.
You will
start to feel more comfortable
around others. And they will sense
this and hence feel more comfortable
with you. You will also treat them better and they will sense
your love as they too begin to love
you in return,… I cannot begin to
describe the wonders that will
happen as you …
Love
yourself, and care for yourself
the
way you would love to be loved &
cared for…
Destin
And
as you Forgive yourself, Nurture
yourself, Help yourself, Encourage
yourself. As you Love and delight in
the very essence of you, as you Love
and delight in everything you
are,… As ‘I’ Loves and
delights in the essence of ‘Me’
and ‘Me’ Loves and delights in
the essence of ‘I’.
You will feel your world will
change and you will change and
everything will change. It will
never be the same again, it will
just be better,…
And
that is what Casey discovered when
she realized that all you got to do
is,…
LOVE
yourself.
Destin
Key
Principles
-
‘
I LOVES me ’ & ‘ Me LOVES
your name ‘ i.e.
‘Me LOVES
Peter‘
-
Love
FIRST. Love begets Love (Latin
Proverb)
-
Do
unto yourself as you would have
others do unto you
-
Love
yourself as you would have
others Love you
-
Love
yourself with your ALL and then
Love your neighbor the same
Master
Exercise
According
to Dr
Gary Chapman, PhD, we don’t
only express love in words. There
are actually 5 main ways that we use
to express love. These ways are
called our Love Languages, they are:
We
tend to have one or two favorite ways of being loved. The easiest way
to discover your favorite way of
being loved is to observe the way
you tend to show love to others.
I’m very verbal and will often
tell people I love them or they’re
special. So my way of Loving is
‘Telling’.
Then
what you do for the next week is at
least once per day, you show
yourself love in your Love Language.
So I would tell myself, ‘I LOVE
me’, and ‘Me LOVES Destin’ at
least once per day. Maybe you would
give a gift to yourself (your
‘Me’) or maybe do something
special for yourself or even give
yourself a big warm hug.
Sometimes
people think these ideas are a
little strange. But remember, only
the unfamiliar feels strange. Once
we are used to it, it will feel
perfectly normal. Just like 100
years ago, if I told you men would
fly, you would think it strange. Yet
today air travel is a common thing.
So the day will come when you will
feel that loving yourself is normal.
And will actually think it strange
that some people don’t love
themselves.
Other
people feel that it is just too much
effort to do the exercise. If I told
you that I’ll give you $1 million
if you only do one thing. You would
probably be very curious about that
thing and more than likely do it. If
I told you that all you have to do,
is to do the exercise for a week.
You’d probably do it with
everything you have.
Now
tell me how much is your happiness
worth ? A Million Dollars, a
Billion, any price… Obviously we
all know you can’t put a price on
happiness, whatever it takes, we
must do it. I have a little saying
that goes,
Never
ask how difficult something will be,
Rather
ask how worthwhile it will be
Destin
So
my question to you is:
Is
your happiness worth 5 min per day ?
Destin
If
it is and only if it is, then do
this exercise once per day for at
least a week as you…
Notice
your life change,…
Destin
In
Everything Truth, Faith & Love
Destin
-------------------------------------------
Further
Info:
See
our Articles:
Visit:
The
Love Languages Web site:
http://www.MyLoveLanguage.com
it includes an online Love Language
test
-------------------------------------------
Back
to Emotional
Greatness Articles
|
